Out of my element….

I am a very lucky girl. No doubt about that. I have a magnificent family and friends that care about me and all the trials and triumphs of my daily life. But because my phone has not stopped the notifications of my concerned and curious loved ones, I am going to try to keep my sanity and save myself from feeling like a broken record, and give a single recollection of the last 24 hours in this new lifestyle. Started work today as an official RN, whoop whoop. But surprisingly, I have no exciting stories about my first day of work. It was really just your typical New Employee Orientation day. Lots of enthusiastic smiles, cheesy learning activities, guest speakers, paperwork, and free lunch. Can’t complain about getting paid to chill in a nice conference room listening to inspirational speeches about what a great choice I made coming to work at Parrish. I don’t doubt for a minute the incredible learning opportunities and “Healing Experiences” that are in store for me here. Let’s just say that, I’m not sure the new job is my biggest adventure anymore….

I am trying to learn how to live with my new neighbors. And I don’t mean the people. The blood sucking mosquitoes. gnats, horse flies, no-see-em’s etc are nearly debilitating…literally drawing blood in minutes of being outside. I have always been unusually prone to getting bug bites., but this is some serious harassment. I have had to take the dog for a walk armed with protection, and I’m not referring to the pepper spray or taser that I conveniently keep to ward off creepers. No, no, now when people see me walking towards them, they cross to the other side of the street. Yes, I am that weirdo walking the funny looking dog, wearing bright red knee-high rain boots, oversized basketball shorts, and a jacket with the hood pulled tight around my face. To make matters worse, Diesel, being so excited about all the new smells and places to pee, gets so distracted he forgets that he needs to poop. I can tell–everytime I see him get ready to get in the squatting postition, he seems to catch a whiff of interest nearby. He is in canine bliss while I get devoured by insects. I LOVE my new house. I am so happy with my new home, and I can’t help but spend all of my thoughts thinking of new, creative projects and ideas for the house. Most recently, the influence of my brilliantly handy father sparked my  creativity as I attempted to rig up some extra night lights before bed (just in case I get paranoid in the middle of the night), rearranging lamps and extension cords etc to get more light and visibility…without turning on actual lights of course. Anyway, after about an hour of unplugging, replugging, and not getting anywhere, I gave up and decided to just settle with the half dozen nightlight plug-ins I started with. Despite my parents’ disagreements with my pack rat clutter, there was, surprisingly, a system to the madness. I cant seem to find anything lately. Not even important things, but simple things that are always in the way until when you need them. Like stamps. I used to keep them in the silverware drawer in the kitchen, only because they were with my groceries one day, and I put them in there so I didnt throw them out, and for months, thats where I kept stamps. Yesterday, (in my attempt at being organized) I specifically recall putting them in a designated safe place in my new office/study/guest room. This afternoon, I nearly unpacked half the house trying to remember where I put them. Similarly, out of my entire collection of random pens of every shape, size, and color that I would usually keep scattered throughout the house, the one day I am looking for a RED pen to do some editing, the only color (out of literally hundreds of pens) is black–not even a blue pen to give SOME kind of contrast. Nope. Go figure. How’s this for Murphy’s Law…I typically make it a habit to only buy wines with twist off tops instead of corks. You can probably imagine my frustration from my countless failed attempts to open a bottle of wine. Impossible. I don’t doubt it has everything to do with the constant slippery, soapy film I can’t seem to wash off my skin with the soft water around here. I tried to open a jug of milk this morning for breakfast, and couldn’t get a grip for the life of me. Or the fact that every dish I wash (and I have washed every single bowl/plate/fork and spoon I’ve used) won’t feel completely rinsed from slimey soap suds, making me feel the need to put more soap and start scrubbing again. Speaking of my cleaning concerns, as I was showering tonight I was just starting to put two and two together (about the constant soapiness and soft water) and absentmindedly realized I was trying to scrub my face with….conditioner. Is it the weekend yet???

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One thought on “Out of my element….

  1. That was great Kait. I love your choice of words to express your feelings. In your closet is your surfing wetsuit, I think you should wear that when you go for a walk. It will protect you from the bugs and make youseat and stay in shape at the same time. But of course, you will look just as strang in your current outfit. Good luck, love you!

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